I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
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If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
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I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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