dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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