Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
