May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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