your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?