u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.