okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped