But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church