Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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