3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.