she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend