Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.