dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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