hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
