I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My vagina is officially offended.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
