I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize