I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
