Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
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