Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
