That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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