I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
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i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
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Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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