I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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