You just made me feel so damn special
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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