You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
i out mim tonsoeep
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
