Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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