i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
