I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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