So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
