...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
