I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
