i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
