some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize