It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
