Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
