by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
