mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
