His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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