just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
