I'm lost and stupid without you.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
