HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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