Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
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i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
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Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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