so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
