She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
