i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
