Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
her vagine was all disorganized.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
