So drunk its hurt
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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