Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
