hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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