Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
