Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
