and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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