Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
