just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
