Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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