She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
His hands were made for my vagina.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
