I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
