i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
