I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
