just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize