You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
