I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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