she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
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