She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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