I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
