wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
