Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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