I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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