so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
