His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
