He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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