return my video game
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
